The Marriage Advice I Wish I Would've Had by Rogers Gerald;

Author:Rogers, Gerald;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: SELF-HELP/General
Publisher: RosettaBooks
Published: 2014-11-13T00:00:00+00:00

PRINCIPLE NINE: Be Silly

Be silly. Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

When I was courting my wife, I was so much fun. I always had creative ideas for dates. I was spontaneous and clever, and nothing made me happier than hearing her laugh.

Years into my marriage, I remember looking at myself and asking, “How on earth did I get to be so boring?”

The stress of work, bills, and raising a family had caused me make the terrible mistake of becoming what I thought a grown-up was supposed to be: boring. I had lost touch with the spontaneous, witty, playful, and curious side of my personality, which was a critical part of what had made me and my marriage feel alive.

Fun and laughter are some of the most important ingredients in a thriving relationship. When things get routine, or when there is stress in the marriage, lightheartedness quickly vanishes.

Want to ease a tense situation? Then make the other person laugh. No one can stay mad when they are laughing.

Want to release stress? Laugh.

Want to connect more deeply with your spouse? Find moments to laugh together.

They even say laughter will help you live longer, and even if that weren’t true, at least it helps make the time you are alive more worth living.

For many people, laughter is one of the most important ways that they feel loved and connected . . . so lighten up. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Smile and enjoy this moment.

Find and celebrate the humor in everyday life.

THE PRACTICE:

It’s funny to think that you might need to practice being silly, but I know it helps me. More than anything, think of this as your permission to embrace and nurture your inner child, that healthy, creative, fun and inspirational part of who you are. When you feed that fun, spontaneous, and enjoyable part of your marriage it will help create greater intimacy in all areas. Think of some crazy date ideas that you can enjoy as a couple.

Here are some ideas and a chance to create your own:

Take some crazy photos together, seeing who can make the silliest faces

Watch an old comedy from the 80’s (preferably something with Bill Murray)

Spend an evening on the town dressed up in some crazy costume that represents your alter ego

Visit a local art gallery and playfully critique the art, coming up with wacky explanations for what it means

Get some Play-Doh or clay and play “Sculptionary,” where you give each other questions, (i.e. what’s your favorite sport?), sculpt the answer, then guess what your spouse made.

Thrift store scavenger hunt: Make a list of random things and go to local thrift stores or pawn shops and see how many you can find

Go to a nickel-cade or Chuck E. Cheese and have a skee-ball competition

Pick a theme for the night and dress up in outfits, play games and cook a meal based on the theme (cowboy, Hawaiian, retro, etc.

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